Daily Trust

“My good friend Tony Anenih was a police officer….I am sure he cannot count the number of traffic offenders he arrested…and had charged to court for breaking traffic regulations. Traffic regulations are still being broken till today but have the rules been abandoned or stopped?”

“Edwin Clark has been my friend for 42 years. So I know him well. That is his nature. Even at his Ijaw National Congress meeting, that is the way Clark speaks. You cannot change him overnight. He just celebrated 83 years and the way he speaks is exactly the way he spoke the first time I met him sometime in 1967….So, this is his nature.”

-- Alhaji Tanko Yakassai

A few weeks ago, I highlighted the repackaging of the old E.K. Clark wine, in the ‘new’ bottle of Goodluck Jonathan’s political agenda. Suddenly, the old man of the Niger Delta, erstwhile byword for national political embarrassment, became ensconced at the heart of Nigerian “chop-chop”, “eye service”, politics. Life was tweaked back into an old man of considerable irrelevance, thanks to the “Godfather” role he assumed for Goodluck Jonathan. If anybody was in doubt about E.K. Clark’s new-found relevance, the outpouring of birthday advertisements in Nigerian newspapers and the “impressive” roll call of political opportunists, like Nasir el-Rufai who “graced the occasion” of the old man’s 83rd birthday party, dispelled such doubts, in a Nigerian manner of speaking.

The lucrative “Goodluck-Must-Run” project exhumed political fossils; the laureates of political opportunism: from Ibrahim “THIRD-TERM” Mantu, Jerry “AGIP-FOR-EVER” Gana, through Solomon Lar to Tony Anenih; Nigeria is listing, thanks to the grovelling sycophancy and a lucrative  opportunism. But what do these Neanderthals really stand for? What businesses have they successfully nurtured that employ labour contributing to the nation’s progress? None! They are loafers and parasites sucking blood out of our national wellbeing. They find a raison d’être in a life of political opportunism, and to raise-up a questionable political manhood, they need to ingest political Viagra.

Unfortunately for Goodluck Jonathan, his new “Enforcer”, Tony Anenih and “Godfather” E.K. Clark, are in overdrive, having ingested an overdose of political Viagra!  The performances of the two old men in recent times illustrate the effects of an overdose. Tony Anenih was already in the museum of political irrelevance thanks to a combination of circumstances: disgraced out of PDP’s BOT chairmanship by Olusegun Obasanjo, the despot he served as an enforcer; and Adam Oshiomhole’s dismantling of the structures of deceit which upheld Anenih as Edo politics’ “Godfather”; Anenih found a new political libido from the Viagra of “Jonathan-Must-Run” politics. To press gang as controversial a man as Tony Anenih to service betrays Jonathan’s deficit of political wisdom. It might also mean that Jonathan finds life comfortable only at the lowest common political denominator! Anenih is always available for the politically dirty job (he acquiesced in the annulment of June 12 and was a handmaiden of military dictatorship before landing his enforcer role under Obasanjo); but has no credibility in the annals of principled politics. So when Anenih addressed South-South leaders this week, and described Jonathan as “brilliant, courageous and focused”, he told a lie!

On the other hand, E.K. Clark spent the better part of the last six months creating enemies for a politically short-sighted Goodluck Jonathan. He has threatened, abused, tried to intimidate and attempted to divide the North, using ethnicity and religion, while forgetting that threats and abuses have no place in the building of democratic consensus. Clark is the worst “Godfather” any so-called “brilliant, courageous and focused” politician can have; but Jonathan chose Clark himself, before inflicting him on Nigeria, thereby betraying a lack of good taste and disrespect for the sensitivities of Northern Nigeria; would Goodluck Jonathan want the votes of the North after his “Godfather”, Clark, has abused, blackmailed and threatened the same people severally? But having read what Alhaji Tanko Yakassai said at the head of this piece, it seems clear that Jonathan did not choose his “God father” and “Enforcer” very carefully. Yes, he gave them the “resources” to perform; in a political manner of speaking, they got the political Viagra to shake off political impotence; but in their over-zealousness, the old men “over-dosed” and are now saddled with troublesome “political penile erections” (pardon the libidinous insinuations!). Even Goodluck Jonathan must now be secretly wishing that he chose better than Tony Anenih and E.K Clark.

Nasir El-Rufai and Donald Duke: Can political sinners repent?

A week ago, Donald Duke, gave graphic insights into how Nigerian governors rig elections. A two-time beneficiary of fraudulent elections, Donald Duke is certainly a “credible” example of the “wisdom of the afterthought”. After eight comfortable years in the saddle, Duke suddenly became “Born Again”. Instructively Duke is in considerable difficulty at the moment; there is no love lost between him and his equally controversial successor, Liyel Imoke (under whose watch billions of dollars was stolen in search of electricity). Duke was denied the “Godfather” role by co-traveller Imoke; shooed out of the PDP in Cross River; and fingered in the conversion of public properties into personal property; Duke suddenly discovered the vocation of “an activist”, calculating that ever-gullible Nigerians might believe his “repentance”. Good for Duke, if he has “seen the light”. But the best way to show penitence is to publicly renounce the loot from eight years of power in Cross River. Let him return choice properties in Ikoyi and other places to the people of Cross River; then shall we be convinced about his conversion from sin! Not to be outdone by Duke, DAILY SUN of Thursday, July 15, 2010, also reported Nasir el-Rufai as confessing that the 2007 election conducted by his old “Godfather” Obasanjo was a sham. They were, in his words, “purported elections”, as most of the beneficiaries “were not elected at all because there were no elections. The results were just written and declared”. Coming from El-Rufai, we must offer a standing ovation! It was the same el-Rufai that bragged on the internet about the role he played in the “election” of the late President Umaru Yar’adua and Goodluck Jonathan. He had expected to be a central figure in the Yar’adua regime but was not given a look-in. A disappointed El-Rufai ran abroad and kept busy authoring doggerels for imperialist institutions in America. When Jonathan assumed power, Nasir with his over-bloated self-importance, returned home, in search of a new niche in power. Today, like Sancho Panza on his donkey, in Cervantes’s DON QUIXOTE, el-Rufai ‘rides’ as a “reformer”. He wants colleagues (presumably the likes of Femi Fani-Kayode!), to learn from their “mistakes and be honest enough to admit we have failed to live up to our expectations, both personal and at national level”. Really? Can Nasir el-Rufai be truly penitent or is he posturing for “something” from Goodluck Jonathan, to return to the loop of power? Only time will tell!
Northern governors, zoning and honour

The much-awaited decision of Northern governors on zoning came early this week. Ten voted for retention of zoning, seven supported Goodluck Jonathan, while two abstained. I’m glad the majority chose the side of our people. When you stay with the people, you ALWAYS win!